I’ll be the first to admit it, I take too many photographs. I know, I’ve been told numerous times. I can’t help it. Don’t you understand? It’s not me, I don’t have a problem and I don’t need help. I’m in total control.

It’s just… When I see a moment that I want to remember, or I see a certain light and how it’s falling on your face, it reminds me of a scene from a movie. It’s a really cool movie about my life and you’re in it. It’s not a big budget movie. It’s one of those cool low budget movies that somehow makes it really big. In any case, when something like that happens, I react. It’s a natural reaction like flinching or ducking for cover. I grab the camera, start shooting and hope to get the shot I saw in my mind in the little time I have before you turn away or get annoyed.

I’m also a nostalgic fool. I admit it. These photos are my past, present and future. Whether I want to or not, I have to take them. I understand it annoys you a little when I stop the car all of a sudden and make you get out and stand somewhere you’d rather not be. I understand… really! However, one day we’ll be able to look a these photos and sigh with a little smile when we remember the moment it was taken. I promise you this, and that’s why you’ll thank me one day.

Anyway, because of this problem addiction habit gift of mine, I now have a backlog of 5814 photos of you and our time together that I have to edit and process. It’s my own fault, I know. I take the photos and then procrastinate about editing them because I’d rather be taking more photos. Now I’m going to have to spend God knows how long sitting and staring at a computer screen isolated in my little office instead of spending more time with you.

I’m working on it though. I swear. I’ve told myself to treat that digital camera like my old Nikon FE and shoot more slowly, with more purpose. I keep telling myself to take the time and set up a shot before pushing that button, to imagine there’s film in that camera and each shot costs $1.00. I try and find a reason for taking each shot and making each one count. I ask myself whether I’m taking a shot that I’ve taken a hundred times before and whether I shouldn’t just put the camera down and enjoy the moment instead. Whatever the strategy, I’ll make it happen. I promise.

Now you know. If you don’t hear from me for a little while , don’t worry, I’m still alive. I’ll be stuck in front of the monitor into the wee hours of the mornings with the hopes of finding the few gems in the 5814 shots I’ve gathered. I’ve learned my lesson. I promise.